date over 50
hello and welcome to coffee with carrie i appreciate you stopping by today i appreciate you being brave today i wanted to share with you 10 things that nobody wants to tell you nobody wants to talk about and while some of these may have nothing to do with you whatsoever there is someone out there who is waiting for this piece of information so just know that i don’t think that all of these apply to any one person but it’s your job to pick and choose i’m not here to insult anyone or to make anybody self-conscious i’m here to make you the most confident dater you can be so what’s the harm in thinking about something going this doesn’t apply to me i’m fine and moving on but perhaps finding one helpful hint in here that will make you more confident and make you more selfish getting out there meeting new people this is meant to be helpful and to encourage you and with that being said let’s get to number one number one has to do with your smile the part of your persona besides your eyes that is the first to greet someone new when you show up face to face or even in pictures so my question to you is have you been enjoying red wine coffee tea did you smoke for a bit back in your 20s or 30s you may want to assess the color of your teeth if you have not been whitening them in the recent past they say to do that you take a piece of white paper into the bathroom look in the mirror and see what the tone of your teeth are to this cult piece of paper and you will know whether you may want to investigate whitening your teeth this does not have to be super time consuming it doesn’t have to be super expensive i know one of my kids just had it done at the dentist’s office where it was a quick one-time appointment one and done super white sparkly pearly whites and i know that my dad just ordered another tube from his dentist where he gets a lifetime of free bleaching gel to fill his molds that he puts in for 20 to 30 minutes a night once every couple months so my dad who’s 80s bleaching his teeth so are my kids also you can do crust white strips even less of an investment you can get them at walmart target cbs anywhere you buy toiletries so take a look at your pearly whites and make sure you’re projecting outwardly what you’re feeling inwardly number two we’re going to question whether we’re feeling confident in all of our clothes or whether it’s time to reacquaint ourselves not with fashion so much or trends but making sure that what we’re choosing to wear on a date is who we are now and whether the clothes we’re going to pull out of our closet for a date are going to make us feel confident out there if fashion isn’t really your thing that’s totally fine as long as you feel good in what you’re wearing and if your clothes are dated and not in great condition and would make you feel self-conscious we don’t want that we never want your clothes to be a distraction want you to be able to feel like you’re at your best put them on and forget them so that you can focus on actually getting to know somebody and not on feeling self-conscious about what you’re wearing so if you have to do a try on i do one periodically i just did started my summer try on last week and realized i don’t know how to dress myself for summer anymore maybe it’s time for a try on see if anything needs freshening up in the wardrobe make sure you have something in there that you can grab at a moment’s notice to go meet somebody if they invite you out for a cup of coffee or for dinner and make sure that you think these are flattering to you and make you feel confident that’s what’s key and most important not what anybody else a fashion magazine or a website tells you to wear it’s about you in the way these clothes make you feel wherever you may be on your health and fitness journey i want to point out that it’s always a good thing to be more flexible and stronger than wherever we are now you could be a gym rat going to the gym seven days a week with a personal trainer obviously this one’s not for you but if you get winded going to get a soda from the refrigerator and you can’t touch your toes maybe this is something you want to examine we’ve got a lot of life ahead of us i want you your future partner wants you to be healthy and fit and able to experience and enjoy what life has to offer us coming up in the second half so take a look at how you feel in your own skin in your own body a little bit healthier change a few things in the diet cut something out maybe add something a little stretch in the morning i was doing this one today i think i’ve got something that doesn’t stretch the way it’s supposed to how about you next up let’s talk about our hairstyles have you had the same hairstyle for the last 20 30 years and not changed it maybe the color is changing maybe not i’m encouraging you to assess whether you feel that this style still suits the person that you are currently and if it is flattering to your face with whatever shape your face is now minds changing is yours if you’re feeling that a new cut might reinvigorate you and give you an extra boost of something some confidence or a get out there kind of vibe maybe a haircut’s in the works for you you can always google cute haircuts and see if something grabs your attention and if you’re brave enough to try something new maybe that’s for you i know this next one’s going to be a rude awakening for many of you but nobody is going to break down your darn door and ask you out on a date you have to put yourself out there nobody wants to tell you this i’m gonna tell you you need to get your tush out the door and be out amongst the people if you don’t have a social situation where you’re constantly meeting new folks or you’re not on the dating apps you need to join some groups you need to join a club you need to take a class but nobody’s going to come and knock on your door saying want to grab a glass of wine tonight it’s on you you got to put yourself out there we talked about the hair on your head and i did an episode for the fellas because their hair situation can be changing and while some of us have less hair in certain areas i mean honestly i just noticed out of the blue that i hadn’t shaved my legs in a week and i could barely tell some of us have hair growing in other places that we weren’t checking on a regular basis if you’ve ever had to look in a magnifying mirror and say oh gosh where are the tweezers my mother did this to me the other day where are the tweezers she’s in front of my magnifying mirror take a look in a magnifying mirror and make sure there aren’t any funny hairs growing in funny places that you did not want them or asked for them to be i know it’s torturous to look in a magnifying mirror but i think we’d rather know than not know right number seven if you have grown children i know that a lot of times they’re our friends now if we’re lucky we made people that we like and we want to share things with them i’m breaking this too gently but check in with them because they may not be as interested in the details of your dating life as you would tend to believe they would be or should be so check in with your kids in case you’re over sharing we always want to know what’s going on in their social life don’t they want to know what’s going on with us not always number eight i want to mention your dating profile if you’re on any of the apps or dating sites on the computer and that is your dating profile is literally your first date so i encourage you to check it out with fresh eyes and make sure you are projecting and putting out there what you want somebody to see and who you want them to think you are whether it’s your sense of humor or the tone that you used with because they’re checking to make sure if you have the same sense of humor if you communicate on in the same type of language and then also please make sure that your photos are up to date very current that you’re not always in a group of people that people who look at your profile will know which one you are and also that you have a full body shot or two head to toe so they recognize you when you walk in the door they’re happy to see you because they’ve already seen you in your dating profile photos and you look exactly like those so don’t forget your dating profile is the first time they meet you make sure it’s everything you want it to be i wanted to mention that i think it’s in your best interest to avoid the same things that people say on dating apps i’d rather my clients say a little less than too much and that they try to avoid cliches you know things like i’m looking for my partner in crime how many times can we read that until we’re like oh not again and we’re just swiping in the direction that person doesn’t want us to swipe in purely because it’s just redundancy take your time with it and make sure that your dating profile your first date is showing who you truly are the ninth thing that nobody wants to tell you about dating over 50 is that it is inevitable somebody is going to try to scam you i am making a new episode on dating scams this week so if you haven’t yet subscribed to my channel then hit that ring bell so that you’re notified when that episode goes live i made an episode a while back all about the dating scams it’s got i don’t know 11 000 views but there’s a couple hundred comments of people who are asking me questions and don’t seem to get how to avoid this like how to nip it in the bud how to not get caught up in the dating scam web but i want that to not happen to you so face the facts it’s gonna happen because they’re all over the place and it’s super easy to avoid them with a couple rules so check out that other video i’ll link it here or at the end and also watch for the new one to show up it’s gonna happen so you may as well know everything you can to prevent yourself from being sucked into that vortex and then finally i would like to end this episode with the tenth thing nobody tells you which is that your married friends are just not going to be really helpful in this dating thing they just they don’t know they want to be helpful but they don’t get it if they haven’t been out here dating in 20 or 30 years they don’t know that it’s nothing like dating 20 or 30 years ago they’re using all the things they remember to try to encourage you and to advise you and they’re really clueless and some of them may even be a little bit jealous that you’re back out there and getting dressed up and going on dates again or they may think this just looks absolutely horrible how can you do this how are you putting yourself back out there after 50 don’t worry about them they just don’t know share what you want to with them but don’t have expectations that they’re really going to be able to give you great advice they’re probably not which is why you’re here on my channel and maybe why you’re going to subscribe to my channel i would love for you to do that so that you can come back again sometime and also so that you’ll catch that next video on the dating scams i appreciate you stopping by today i hope this was helpful for you i hope one or two of those were something that hadn’t occurred to you recently and would trigger you to take some type of action i’ll look forward to the next time we’re together and until then thanks again and have a good one …