single men online
so I recently came across a rather alarming statistic it said that 63 percent of men between 18 and 29 were single as opposed to only 34 percent of women in that same age category this at first seems illogical like who are they even dating but beyond that it’s a bit shocking assuming that men don’t want to be single assuming that men want to be in relationships which most to do in that category why is it that so many men are failing to get into relationships why is it that we have this huge disparity and why is it that this disparity is growing the situation is getting worse over time I’m a breakdown for you exactly why that’s the case and if you are single and don’t want to be what you can do about it right now [Music] so I’m going to give you a bunch of reasons why this is happening I can’t identify exactly what’s the number one two three four reason in order or whatever but I know these are the reasons that are all coming together to create this phenomenon and the first reason I want to talk to you about is online dating and social media online dating and social media have a very interesting effect on the male female dynamic because in sort of a tribal Society or a society where people are in little niche groups one really high value guy can only date so many girls you can only date maybe one girl per group and he’s not being value shown to as many girls as he could be whereas with something like online dating a good dating profile can be seen by hundreds and hundreds of women and a guy who’s good with online dating can have a different date every single night of the week without any of the girls ever meeting each other without it affecting a social reputation Etc social media takes this even further for the absolute most high value men or at least the most high value men on social media they could have literally millions of followers women who would throw themselves at them all the time and so this ability to Market and Broadcast Yourself allows a few very high value men to be sleeping with or dating the amount of women that is way out of proportion to whatever could have been done other than by like a medieval Lord one other side effect of social media is we call the Jenny from the village phenomena and this is the idea that maybe you’re in some small town or some small village and you had that one really hot girl in your village well growing up she would be likely to date just the highest value guy in that Village but nowadays with social media she is exposed to many high value guys outside the village and also they may discover her she may get discovered by a modeling agency or an acting agency or just some high value Rich dude who likes her and she gets flown out to a big city and now the high value dude in the village doesn’t have Jenny to date he ends up with a lower tier of dating options oh and one more asterisk on that Jenna from the village now has the ability to start an only fans account so think about that so in summary online dating and social media have definitely skewed the dating Market towards a few high value men and taken away from a lot of other men who would have had a much easier Time dating before and specifically when I’m talking about online dating I don’t just mean the super celebrities of the world I mean the top 10 of guys who know how to Market themselves are taking the dates of the other 90 of guys obviously a lot of this channel is dedicated to helping you to be in that top 10 instead of the other 90 the next major societal shift that’s affecting dating has to do with how we work from the 1980s to today a lot of work has gone from work where you’re with people interacting to work where you’re sitting on a computer and that dramatically changes how people date most people or a lot of people used to meet during work they used to meet their co-workers they used to socialize with their co-workers that sort of thing now work is a much less social activity also recently more and more work has become remote which means not only are you sitting staring at a computer and not interacting with anyone but you might not even be in the same building as the people you’re working with so again these are fewer opportunities for you to meet your co-workers and that means directly you’re not going to meet and date your workers it also means you’re not going to meet and befriend your co-workers and go out for a drink and then meet someone there so all of this is creating more and more isolation in our lives and obviously the fewer People You Meet the fewer people you are going to date and a side effect of this by the way is it drives even more people in their dating Pursuits to social media and online dating which means that that first trend is even more powerful in addition to the manner in which we work having changed another demographic shift is the lack of the third place and if you don’t know the third place is this is an idea Starbucks kind of created in terms of their Ambiance where they wanted to create a place besides home and besides work where people would hang out and spend time but people are doing that less and less these days people are spending less time in cafes and sitting around at restaurants especially in the United States people are joining fewer activities again more and more of our life is online more and more of our life is conveniently remote even things like the gym more and more people are doing the gym at home fewer people are meeting at the gym there are just fewer shared activities than there once were this next factor is sort of a mix of psychology situation and Society so stick with me for a second but this is one of the biggest factors and one of the most important ones so because of a lot of the factors I’ve mentioned before whereas before just being a social person would lead you to likely date nowadays dating has become a discreet skill because you’re not naturally meeting women through work because you are there is this disparity that we talked about with social media Etc now actually doing a thing going up to a girl and talking to her is actually a more critical skill than it was before having the boss to actually ask a girl on a date right then and there because you might not see her 10 more times and get to know her gradually over your work career it’s become a bigger and bigger thing simultaneously it appears to men and to some extent even is true that there’s more social blowback if you make a mistake for example the metoo movement for example with there being a preponderance of social media it seems like if you make a misstep you could very easily be shamed so men are simultaneously in the position where they need to take more risks in order to date effectively than they would have in the past and also where every risk seems to carry with it far more negative consequence and what does this lead to it leads to men essentially being paralyzed with fear it leads to men not knowing exactly what to do and also fearing that anything they do may be wrong the coping mechanism is inaction it’s just I don’t know what to do so I’m going to do nothing and if you do nothing you end up getting nothing by the way a lot of these fears are way overblown the reality is far less dire than you may think so we have a lot of these factors that are already combining to make it harder for men to get into relationships on top of that there’s a compounding factor that makes it exponentially worse which is that because it’s harder a lot of men are giving up and also there are a lot of resources to sort of self-medicate the men who are giving up so it doesn’t feel as bad so men who are not dating because they’ve given up because it’s too hard are now presented with internet porn which is highly stimulating all the time and they’re presented with video games that can take up their attention and are like psychologically engineered by Geniuses to make them incredibly addictive and to make them incredibly fulfilling so it’s much easier to to get your sort of emotional stimulation and much easier to feel good from these sort of like intangible fake things than it is to go try in the real world that combined with frustration leads to a lot of men just giving up and actually exiting The Dating game semi-voluntarily involuntarily and then voluntarily afterwards by the way there’s also one other factor in this statistic which is not a negative factor and has always been the case which is that always older men have dated younger women in general so that’s the bad news here’s some good news number one part of the disparity Between Women between 18 and 29 being single and Men between 18 and 29 being single has always existed and is normal and natural you see as men our value tends to increase with age right we get more experience more success more resources more influence more dating experience and ability to please a woman all of that comes to men with age so it has always been the case that it gets easier for men to date as they get older up to a point and simultaneously it gets harder for women to date as they get older because you know biologically they become less viable as producing Offspring and therefore they’re less attractive Etc as they age so this is sort of a natural thing and there’s always been this disparity so not all of the Gap has to do with all of these societal factors and not all this Gap is created by negative factors also there is a solution for you whatever age you are and here’s that solution the solution is simple but it requires work it’s basically Two Steps step one leave the house often counteract all these different factors just because there aren’t as many third places and people aren’t meeting and going out and socializing as much doesn’t mean you can’t you can join a gym you can join Social Clubs you can go do your work at cafes you can meet your co-workers etc etc just because Society is Shifting in that direction doesn’t mean you have to you can create a life where you are social and you definitely should be going out and meeting women rather than being on the internet watching porn or just immersing yourself in video games your entire life leave the house put yourself in Social situations because again a huge amount of the factors leading to this are simply that it’s easier and easier and easier to just stay home fight that fight the inertia of staying home go out get in the world have a social life interact with the real world not the fake online world number two develop a funnel and this can be a variety of different things a funnel is a marketing term that just basically means a way that you bring strangers into becoming customers or in this case strangers into becoming lovers and dates how do you do that there are lots of ways get good at online dating that’s a tremendous funnel get your social media good and be one of those guys that’s attracting girls with a social media that’s a funnel or at least a helper to a funnel that can be very very effective go out and get good at walking up and meeting girls and then follow up with phone numbers have activities to invite girls to develop a funnel develop a strategy develop a framework for how you are going to bring yourself in contact with girls that you’re interested in and then what you’re going to invite them to and how you’re going to continue to see them so that they can become your dates and again there are a lot of different ideas for funnels there are cold approach funnels there are night game funnels Day game funnels online funnels but you have to have a plan if you don’t have a plan you’re unlikely to accident into the result you want in fact a lot of the trends that have made it difficult for most guys are actually because a few guys are succeeding wildly and if you become one of those guys who has that skill set you actually have a better opportunity to have a crazy amazing dating life than you actually would have had in the past so what is unfortunate for the vast majority of men actually is quite fortunate if you’re one of the few men who has the intelligence wherewithal determination and skill to actually succeed maybe the biggest takeaway in terms of attitude and in terms of approach from this video would be this the way that Society is structured is not going to take care of your dating life for you anymore there may have been a time in the past where things were relatively easy in terms of that and if you’re just a cool guy it would just happen for you that’s no longer the case nowadays dating is a discreet skill and you have to personally take control of your dating life if you’re not going to be responsible for your results you’re probably not going to get results the fact that you are one of the few people who is you know actually learning dating as a skill means that you’re actually at a tremendous Advantage so while this statistic is bad news for a lot of men in society it actually could be very very good news for you if you’re willing to take the right steps I hope you do see you on the next video …