šŸ“šReading to Cure BurnoutšŸ”„

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[Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] good morning I’m not morning is oh yeah it’s still morning so I was checking my emails like every adult does and I noticed that I had an email from The Graduate director at my school and basically it said that I noticed you’re only taking one class are you planning on taking any more and if so register now because they don’t want to like prematurely cancel low enrolled classes and I was a little annoyed cuz I actually I only wanted to take one class my first semester because to teach you need to take a required pedagogi class and apart from the fact that it’s my first semester the PHD program but it is also going to be my first semester teaching ever and I’ll also be working in the writing studio and this is the first time where or okay let me back up real quick during my entire bachelor’s degree and most of my Master’s Degree I worked full-time and was a full-time student and the burnout hit hard which is why when a year ago they told me that I couldn’t go back to being a part-time employee I had to choose either school and work and I obviously chose school so that my last two semesters years of my master’s program I basically just focused on school oh sorry just my last semester just my last semester I just focused on school so okay yeah so I I’ve worked my entire college career but starting with the PHD program starting in August it will be the first time where I work within the academic field and I’m saying all of this because I originally wanted to only take one class so that I could gauge my workload and see basically like what I can handle in one of my old Vlogs I talk about how with working in a non-academic field and being a student me and my therapists determined that a good stable work work balance between school and work was two classes at a time because there was a pattern where every time I took three classes there would always end up being one class where I would push it to the back burner and I mean luckily I’m not that horrible of a student but it does affect my GPA because whenever I would take three classes it would always be two A’s and a b because that last class was just pushed to the back burner barely focused on it and whenever I did it was always it was always be quality work and so my GPA basically stayed pretty good once I started focusing on two classes a semester so back to the present after I saw that email you know I read the subtext you have to you have to take more classes and I registered for two more classes and I’m nervous because I don’t know how heavy teaching is going to be and how heavy working in the writing studio is going to be but I do know what it feels like to work and go to school so it’s not something that I’m like not used to it’s not a routine that I’m not used to and I am also kind of hoping that because I’m working in an academic setting it would be kind of easier one of my major issues working outside of school was that my anxiety was always at a very high level because half of the time that I was in the office I would always be thinking I’m wasting my time I could be doing something for school I could be writing my essay I could be reading for class I could be doing this and this and that I could be making connections somewhere in the world within my scope of my career and I was just wasting my time in my office but because I’m actually going to be working in the school environment I’m kind of I’m hoping that it will be easier and not have that heightened anxiety all the time if that makes sense basically I finalized my school schedule for August and I’ll be taking I’ll be taking three classes while teaching one class and working while working in the writing studio so I’m hoping that everything will be okay so I could also balance you know editing my videos and also having a social life which to be honest is kind of more important to me I don’t want to just make my disertation my identity again I’m excited though because one of the classes that I’m taking in the fall is being taught by my old thesis director it’s going to be really nice working with her again right now I am just editing a video happy Sunday [Music] [Applause] good morning I have been editing on morning and my last Vlog just uploaded I couldn’t post it on Sunday like I always do because of Mother’s Day weekend I just didn’t have time to edit so I finally finished editing and I realized that I’ve just been having so much trouble with my thumbnails because I don’t like like anything I don’t like any thumbnail concept I come up with to be honest and I wish I could just keep whatever the YouTube chooses as my thumbnail but you know sometimes that’s not a big hit either and I’m just annoyed luckily since I’m still since I’m I’m still a small Channel I could like [ __ ] around and find out at this point it’s been an off morning because I didn’t have a bad dream but it did trigger like one of those memories that you just don’t want to remember so like every 5 minutes I’m just like trying to shake it off uh but yeah today is just going to be a heavy editing day and I don’t think I’m going to do much about that hopefully tomorrow and the rest of the week is more eventful and also no no reading update I’m still technically in the first chapter of a fire endless which is the second book to a river Enchanted let’s get to editing [Music] [Music] [Music] H Ray okay [Music] good morning good morning today is actually an entire new week from the last clip I don’t know if you can tell from my voice but I have been sick all week after I edited my video I just was sick and didn’t read anything I know I was really excited about picking up the second book to a river Enchanted but I actually ended up picking an apprenti ship for the book of Pleasures by Clarice Le Spectre when I picked up a fire endless which is the second book when I picked up that book I immediately felt the fatigue the fatigue that I always feel after reading a fantasy novel so because I want to like these books so much I needed to put it aside and get back to my regular reading program schedule or whatever last week uh as you guys as you guys know right I posted a video about all the books that I’ve read all my favorite books that I read read in grad school so if you’re coming from that video hi again thank you so much for clicking I just had therapy literally like 6 minutes ago I had therapy and it turns out that not because of editing that video but the video added to on I was going through this big burnout episode from just like things that I was dealing in my life and because my immune system was already kind of low it’s like m M my body just shut down which was why I was sick all week or at least that’s the way that I like to explain these things you know you got to take care of yourself you got to see and feel the warnings and if you don’t you end up being sick but anyways like I mentioned I am currently reading Clarisa spectre’s the book of pleasures and I’m a little halfway through it and there are a lot of dog ears I’m very much enjoying it so far discovering Clarissa Spectre this year was an amazing thing because I basically love every single work I’ve picked up from her I’m in the process of reading her entire backlog and this is the third book I think I’m reading of hers and then the next book that I’m planning on reading actually one of the books that I mentioned in the last video and it’s Matilda by Mary Shelly and it’s not a memoir but it’s a auto fiction because it talks about her experience of her father having ancestral thoughts about her uh I want to read it because it’s really short both of these works are less than 150 pages and like I said I I’m I’m already getting out of a personal burnout I don’t want to get into a reading slump because of it so I just want to feel like I can finish book like I could finish books and then hopefully I could get to a fire endless early next month and if not I mean to be realistic by the end of summer just because I have a lot of reading plans for the next two months and also of that fantasy fatigue that I have mentioned when I was reading a river Enchanted I mentioned that I’m not a big fantasy person person and it’s really rare when I pick up fantasy but I really loved a river Enchanted so I really want to get to the second book a perfect example about not really being into fantasy is that I picked up the poppy Wars and I’ve I’ve only read the first one I have the other two in my TBR shelf but I don’t think I’m going to get around to them anytime soon so that is the plan I will see you in the next update [Music] she good morning as you guys saw I am done with an apprenticeship or the book of Pleasures by Clarissa Spectre and it has made it onto my favorite shelf so that was pretty cool I’ll talk about the book way more in my May epilog video but I will say right now that I really loved how accessible that book was compared to her other work that I’ve read at the moment I have read near to the wild heart and the passion of GH and I think one more or I think yeah anyways for sure I’ve read those those two and they were good they were really good but they are very hard to follow sometimes just because of the way that she writes it’s very I don’t know if philosophical is the right word but it it is very deep sometimes I have to reread a sentence just to make sure that I understood it half the times I want to blame the translation and then half the times I’m just like maybe I’m not as smart as I thought I was but this book was way more accessible and that’s not a reason at all why it’s on my favorite shelf it’s just something that I wanted to share so I am currently reading Matilda by Mary Shelly and I just realized that the actual book starts on like page 42 cuz like all of this is like notes and introduction and then past this bookm Mark it’s more notes and history and everything like like that cuz this is a scholar this is a scholarly Edition but what I was saying is that the actual story started on page 42 and there are only5 Pages worth of story so I’m obviously going to finish this right away and next up on my list is another Clarisa Spectre which is the besieged city this one specifically I haven’t heard anything of either this Clarice Spectre and this one is one of her longer works which is 200 pages and that’s that’s the thing about Clarice Spectre most of her books that I’ve read are around the 200 Page Mark never really more than that but because her writing is so I guess difficult to digest it reads like if it was a longer book so like I don’t expect to finish this anytime soon even the more accessible one I thought I was going to finish a lot faster but I didn’t so so yeah these are that’s my lineup basically let’s get to [Music] [Music] reading I am coming out of a lunch break so far my thoughts on Matilda is that Mary shell is a wonderful writer for those who have seen my last video then you guys would remember that this was an honorable mention for my best books in grad school because by the time we got to this book in this specific class which was about Memoirs and autobiographies I think I was going through something kind of personal so it was thrown thr in the back burner and that’s why it was more of a oh no I ordered it and it didn’t come in on time just kidding that’s why it was a back burner the book never came on time and because it’s so short we only spent like a day on it so I never read it and but like while the discussion was going on I was like I really want to read this and I actually you know I saw how tiny it it was and it was like why not just read it right now I am loving it I have a couple highlights or underlines and I’m ready to finish it so I will see you again when I finish it yeah that’s cool that’s cool that’s cool hello again it is 4:00 in the afternoon and after I finished Matilda I fell asleep I realized that the oldish English of Matilda also slowed me down in my reading so before I pick up clar less Spectre again which is also a hard read for me I’m going to pick up Acts of desperation by Megan Nolan um this should go by faster because it is contemporary even though it is almost 300 Pages this should be a faster read because you know some pages are like this so yeah I will see you in the next update [Music] [Music] I love a first slime especially when it’s a really good one the first time I saw him I pied him terribly off to a great start [Music] good morning it is Thursday it is the next day and I woke up late that’s fine because I desperately wanted to finish acts of desperation before I went to bed and again I’ll share all my thoughts about this probably either at the end of the video or in my reading wrap up but all I will say is that it could have been shorter that’s all all it it could have been shorter anyways not that bad but my full thoughts in a later video like I said I just woke up so I’m going to do my morning routine first and then get back to reading [Music] la [Music] so so I just came back from the grocery store and I figured like a lot of YouTubers here we do a little grocery haul so my favorite favorite snack that I like to eat are these new Nature Valley protein bars they have 10 g of protein for 190 calories and yes they do have a little more sugar than I would like but I barely eat any sugar as it already is so I feel like it kind of like balances it out and Publix first of all Publix is the only place that I’ve seen that sells the blueberry blueberry version and that’s the only flavor that I like from these and every other store has like these big value packs but none in none in blueberry whatever anyway so Publix was having a deal of buy two for five bucks and and I usually take advantage of that so I stocked up on my snacks and then I did also get some dried mango because I love me some good dried mango I know I literally just said I barely eat sugar but this is like a little treat for me and it’s fruit how bad can fruit be I grabbed some more blue blueberries for my regular breakfast toast that I always eat cuz you know consistency is key when it comes to people with ADHD if I don’t eat the same thing every day I tend to not eat anyways uh I grabbed some more protein bread this has 9 Gams of protein and it’s all plant protein a lot of the other breads that I’ve seen on the the store only have at most 5 g of protein so when I found this I thought that was pretty exciting because I’m not vegan it’s just for some reason it’s really it’s really hard for me to get protein for some reason so I like to stock up on things that have protein I also when I was walking by the produce section the peaches smelled really good so I just grabbed two cuz I was on a budget and last but not least I grabbed coffee creamer this isn’t the usual one that I always drink I’m trying something new because they were out of stock of the one that I really like I usually get the Silk Almond creamer in French vanilla but this is planet o oat milk creamer in sweet and creamy and the reason why I like the Almond French vanilla is because it’s in my opinion it’s actually not as sweet uh a lot of people still think my drink is really bitter and that it needs more sugar so that’s why I really like it so I’m kind of hoping that this is similar and they only had caramel and I don’t like caramel flavors so yeah basically I a lot of other people’s vanilla flavors taste so nasty so I didn’t really want to risk it cuz uh they did have another brand that had oat milk vanilla and I had a picture of an ice cream and that’s usually a red flag for me so so yeah that is my groceries haul and now it’s time to put it away [Music] oh [Music] it’s voila breakfast is served for me at least so this is where I’m actually going to end this week’s Vlog again thank you so so much for checking out your last video and thank you so much to all of you new subscribers hi hello again thank you so much for being here if you like this video please consider leaving a little like and if you’re new here mayh have click the Subscribe button I try to post a vlog every week and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day night [Music] …