Are you worried that your relationship might be manipulative? In this eye-opening video, we delve into the insidious tactics used …
episode of relax and take notes love dorsy and I discuss manipulation and relationships such as love bombing isolation trauma bonding and gaslighting but first a word from our sponsors and don’t forget to like And [Music] subscribe are you or anyone you know suffering with high blood pressure diabetes or cholesterol well the solution is here and it’s olive leaf extract olive leaf extract allnatural formula helps lower diabetic blood sugar lower blood pressure as well as cholesterol and did I mention it’s also good for candida and eczema for more information go to shopmy oliv leaf.com [Music] what’s good relax and take notes family and we back with the one and only love dorsy how you been queen I’m I’m glad to be back and I’ve been blessed blessed that’s all I can say blessed well we going to get right into it because the people have been asking we did the first two episodes they’ve done phenomenally well the conversation in terms of the comments is phenomenal like they like these conversations is what we need yeah and I I peep that I I love that it’s making people really look at the real issues and they showing that they interested right cuz we’ve been interested in a lot of [ __ ] for a lot of [ __ ] a lot of [ __ ] and it’s the depth of conversation obviously the seriousness that you bring to the conversation which is your life work at this point you know what I mean it shows and you know we were talking before we actually started recording and I was just saying for those of us who really know what you bring to our community it’s a breath of fresh air yeah you know what I mean the level of of of analysis the seriousness by which you approach the conversation even as a woman right is refreshing because this particular space and when you when you have the relationship conversation is often times dominated by men yeah right and they’re going to and we’re going to bring the perspective that we bring but it’s always good to have that balance you know what I’m saying it’s always good to have that feminine balance I feel like for a long time we’ve needed to bring back accountability for both sides equally in all areas no um handicaps given no passes just and because I feel like that’s the remedy to all this stuff just messed up in our culture yeah absolutely and speaking of culture I want to start off by reading this uh this definition of culture right that I think is going to um serve as kind of like a uh a catalyst for today’s conversation so culture refers to the shared beliefs values customs and behaviors and artifacts of a particular group or Society it encompasses the collective expression of a group’s identity and is shaped by history language traditions and social interactions culture influences how individuals think communicate and interact with each other and it is often passed down from one generation to the next it includes elements such as art literature music religion rituals and social norms as well as the way people dress eat live and how they live their daily lives culture is a complex and dynamic concept that shapes our understanding of the world and our place in it for me culture is the reference point for everything we do say think and feel yep yep I I’m going to tell you like when you see me talk anywhere on my platform other platforms anywhere you hear me use culture a lot because you know I grew up understanding that that is our behavior that is our mindset that is the way we think and when you understand that you’ll realize in all those areas art history you know just everything that all of that you have to educate and make yourself knowledgeable about your people and where you come from your family your community your neighborhood so that you can understand what you are absolutely absolutely there’s a lot of people they don’t know what they are male or female they don’t know what they are and then it’s triggering when somebody else is pointing out what you are to you and you’re so unaware you it feels a certain kind of way cuz you haven’t spent time actually looking into you where you get these behaviors from from your eating habits to you know how you talk why you talk the way you talk your views why do you have those particular views yeah why do you operate in certain habitual behaviors yeah yeah you you know often times you hear parents say that they’re responsible you know for raising children and and we are as parents you know and I look at raising children as providing food clothing and shelter right but I also focus on rearing and to me rearing is just as important where you take accountability for your child’s PS psychological needs their emotional needs their spiritual needs you see what I’m saying and that to your point is often times what’s what’s missing we as parents we may do a great job providing the food the clothing and the shelter but what is your child’s psyche life you know where are they emotionally do they have a healthy self-concept healthy self-concept of themselves you know what I mean before they even go into college or you know the university system are they truly rooted in the things that you’ve taught them as a parent yep and I’m going tell you because it it’s so you know law what you stating when you look at the adults that are raising those children a lot of them they haven’t taken care of those things for themselves so it’s almost a space of this isn’t really valuable yeah and so with that as this idea or this belief that’s incorrect obviously now it’s like we want a reward for just the shelter the feeding and the clothing them we want big Praises for that basic level stuff that isn’t even the tip of what needs to be reared into that individual in order for them to have a productive life right right it’s it’s not it doesn’t take much if you are a basic level stable person to feed clothe shelter get them through public school right get them into the workforce that’s it to me that’s basic it’s bottom level depending on where you come from it’s harder for some people than others but I think we need to start being real about the standards like you know you set the ceiling for yourself so we got the bar set load to where we do big backyard celebrations just cuz you got Lil Ray Ray to the 12th grade he barely made it they pushed him through a lot of the classes you kept him frust to death he keep a cut right and now we we celebrating in his he going he going to carry that torch and set the ceiling in life for himself very low level and celebrate basic stuff and this is why when we hear you know the bigger level things that we fully capable of accomplishing it’s like that’s whoo he did what he did what did did invested in that he got a business how they did that credit what’s that right you that’s a scam ain’t it see you can’t even see yourself in and the these are average things we just got the bar set so low love I’mma tell you one of the worst things that we can do as parents is to like you said spend those years pushing a child through High School only for them to go off the college the military or whatever and come back to 2 3 years later a person that we don’t even recognize you know what I mean that’s to to your point that’s when we realize that we drop the ball as a parent if if if if they go to college and before they even graduate they come back as a person that you no longer even recognize that means that you did not do your job in terms of their emotions their psychological development their spiritual fulfillment and they got for lack of a better way to say it turned out yeah you see what I’m saying CU you sent me out into the world unprepared yes yes you sent me out and the things that happened to me through my choices whatever environments that I was in I allowed them to foundationally shift who I was cuz the foundation was weak it was weak it was weak when I left show because I was at home it just didn’t manifest itself because I was still in the nest but when I left the nest it it it was chaotic and and confusing and I got pulled to and fro I wasn’t rooted in anything tangible because that wasn’t instilled in me you know what I mean so um no than definitely thank you for sharing that absolutely when I when I’m going tell you when I talk the younger people I try to point out to them Hey listen don’t be that younger individual especially for you know our people African-American people black people that you you are in those prime years where you’re trying to become an adult that 19 to like 24 don’t be in that time frame and lose self meaning you’re so caught up in relationships and Trends and trying to fit in that you don’t look at self-care the physical fitness the what you put in your body what’s best for you to keep a healthy mental space what traumas you have like don’t get so far off that by the time you 25 you don’t recognize you you don’t even damn if Mama could recognize me I’m not the person that I said I want to be I don’t like who I am so I’m easily triggered because I’m always defending anything I say or do cuz I lost myself from the first relationship to the second friendship to these group of people I started hanging around to the job I took over here all of those things start to just kind of shake you around and when you get done you like a a bag of items that are now all shifted together sced up yeah and you you don’t know you don’t feel good about yourself and you don’t know yourself exactly so I tell them like if you don’t have foundational things that even if your parents didn’t set these things for you if you don’t get a planner sit down and decide here are some key things throughout my week and my month I’m not going to change from doing this stuff for nobody nobody so for example when I talk to young males get you a physical fitness or exercise routine I don’t care if it’s going to the gym and playing basketball once or twice a week or going to an actual workout gym and working out or pumping weights in the backyard or jogging around get that release of physical energy get your heart going that’s a part of being a male a male right and then I don’t care what female you date what situations you go through don’t lose that don’t lose that throughout life yes keep that and and line yourself up with the list of these things that involve supporting your physical health mental health just even [ __ ] you like to do that makes you feel good about existing and stick to those no matter what else is going on you’re non-negotiable yes and a lot of this stuff is not about money no the things that I’m talking it ain’t to sit down and ground yourself take your shoes off plant your feet in the grass breathe get a grip on where you at who you are what you want to be reflect on your goals these are activities that I’m I’m not changing this for no nobody what’s going on what jobs I’m at if I got fired I got broke up with we lose ourself when we don’t have these because you change every day with with what routines you’re doing to keep up with who you’re dealing with right chasing the crowd the need to be accepted by you know so-called friends and peers and all of that like you said that will have you you know up one minute down the next because your whole way of validating is external you know what I mean you have no way of validating and giving your own providing value for own because to your point you never even took the time to get to know yourself to really know what your interests are what what drives you what your purpose is you know what I mean you ever heard that concept like of um a young adult finding their tribe yes right I I feel like we glorify so much being a a independent individual that don’t need nobody we Overlook that it is human nature to be accepted into some sort of group Society family unit absolutely G I don’t give a damn what it is there is an urge for that and when you don’t have foundational things or principles that you’re going to stand on that keep you healthy right being you you’ll never know what your tribe is you’ll be somewh everywhere trying to fit in this go from male or female female this is when you see dudes find themselves in the streets and this ain’t even like bro some of these dudes this them like from a young age this they was headed in this direction this ain’t even me but I didn’t fit in over here this happened in my life I Never Had No Sol principles for myself so now I’m over here with these dudes they gave me a sense of belonging and I and I joined up I didn’t even ask questions next thing you know I’m jumped into something and I’m not even aware of the consequences that come with this type of Lifestyle now I’m telling on people and stuff and it’s like it in in in me you know I know this was never me so I was never F to hold y’all down and stay solid anyway this was some [ __ ] I was trying and y’all believed I was a part you know what I mean y was just trying to increase the numbers I know so many d anybody anybody will do you know what I mean yes I I I I have a lot of people that that reach out and connect with me that are in prison and a lot of them this is their story they wasn’t a gangsta they wasn’t you know coming from you know that household where the streets was in our house so you know what I mean these was guys that like it looked cool they had I didn’t fit in with these other friends it was it was other stuff that I couldn’t quite navigate cuz I didn’t know myself and the streets always hiring and I got caught up in jumped out I got caught up in some mess you know it’s a couple guys I done talk to they got talked in taking a charge just not knowing any better bro said I I should say it was my gun and love I ain’t back you know I’m 37 now but back then I was 19 said I needed to do it was my turn to take a the the to take one for the team I I never had a felony they told me I’d be out in five years or whatever you know what I mean because who gun it was it could have been his third strike and he didn’t want to do that 25 to life whatever it would have been you know what I mean and like you said young brother just got caught up you know as we say tricked off the street yep yep and he he was never a street dude to begin with and it’s easy to end up like that even when you look at what’s happening with people being violated sexually especially some of the the testimonies that I hear from males even black males when they talk about like they found themselves in rooms trying to fit in with groups of people that you don’t understand what these people experien and doing all kind of stuff and this is what they want to do like this is something they’ve looked into or set this group up to explore this kind of sexual stuff you over here just trying to fit in or be a part of this group and now you look up and you done did some things and and you you’re shamed and you’re triggered if somebody bring them up and you’re worried and you now you don’t fit in nowhere because you don’t know you don’t know what to stand on I don’t because at least those that are involved in that lifestyle they’ve accepted it and that’s their yeah that’s their they’re doing better than you they yes they found their tribe I see and I’m going tell you with women on the same token it be the same thing I talked to so many women I did a zoom the other night and it was like five women spoke up they were like I got pushed to be a single mother by the older women in my family and I know that now love and they were like I was handling my daughter’s father my son’s daughter a certain way based on like getting off the phone with my mama she telling me what to tell him I go tell him and because she’s so supportive of this Behavior I was so with it and I felt like this is what I’m supposed to be on now I’m 37 doing everything by myself for you know 29 40 and and and this ain’t what I wanted thisiz not like hey I want him to you got tricked by your M yes you got tricked out of being a wife by your mama yep and you got to take a certain responsibility there’s a responsibility in it for the elders the generational curses talk about it but you also have to take a responsibility that once you start partaking in adult activities like having children and things like that you got to sit down and ground yourself to a certain set of basic principles or you will not find your tribe sometimes the tribe you were born into ain’t your tra often times it’s not because then once you reach a certain age you realize how much trauma is even in your own family and it prompts you to to leave and find another tribe or what I say create family cuz family that’s what you create you know I mean yes and again with creating a family when you don’t have certain things establish that this is what I’m on you will go out and attract people into this family you creating that don’t fit with what you’re trying to do it starts with let me get an idea of what I’m on let me so that I can stand on this business that I get yes yes that even if I come across a few people that don’t fit in the tribe the mission statement and the principles of what I’m on what we or without 100% And and the mission will be fulfilled whether you on board or not I love it let’s talk about this manipulation in relationships right because that’s that’s a big thing that we see going on for for for anybody I would say over the age of probably 253 I’m sure that they’ve experienced some level of manipulation in relationships whether man or woman yeah talk about where that where that whole thing stems from it I’m I’m going to tell you this on this surface you know we talked earlier about um the different podcast and everybody talking about relationships and you know I’ve heard the verbiage thrown around a lot about oh I got love bombed right you love to bomb me and and love bomb is a form love bombing is a form of manipulation right excessive gifts and and showing like just crazy levels of affection early on yeah way too early Y and then you slowly take it away where the person doesn’t really notice at first and then you know months or years later they don’t realize like I’m getting nothing that attracted me in the beginning and I find myself unable to leave like a addict chasing that high I’m trying to get things back to where it was in the beginning I think what we Overlook when we talk about this stuff on podcast because a lot of you know the people in this conversation are educated is that you are going to meet everybody’s representative up front and that is a form of manipulation absolutely surface level it’s a natural form of man manipulation cuz people are not showing up at at the door with all yeah as their authentic self if I say they’re not and then there’s the part like what we were just saying a lot of people don’t really know their self right so when I do come you know I think I’m being me but in all reality I’m showing you this version of me as a woman that later on you going to get a completely different version right now you fast forward when I talk about manipulation in relationships I speak on when you’re in it it is clear that you and this person are doing something together right that involves just you two outside of other people is the understanding right and then you get into the plays on emotion as I learn stuff about what triggers you you get into me using the things that we’ve been through yeah to keep you stringing along or keep you doing things for me and this is both male men and women yeah men and women do I’m pretty sure from you know being in the barber shop you talk to customers and guys that talk about how abolutely they caught on that the woman manipulating them out of some something fion energy money y some caught on in the conversations in the barers shop they realize that they were being manipulated yes yes and and I feel like in our community we sweep a lot of it under the roof absolutely like we give I you can correct me if you or you can give me your view if you feel different but I feel like as men you guys sit back and you give women a lot of passes when you know we manipulating the [ __ ] out of situation way way too many passes because you know to and I can’t understand it because often times men you know there often times men are broken as young boys that let’s just you know what I mean and and we talked about this last time you know they’re actually emotionally broken as young boys so by the time they even get old enough to date right they already have a a skewed view of what a woman is you know from their mother you know what I mean and so because she was manipulative because she was abusive emotionally and physically they think that it’s absolutely okay to be 25 30 years old and have a woman who reflects that right but here cuz I love what you’re saying here’s the danger in that and I’m saying this as a woman that’s willing to keep it real on all levels once you allow me to start manipulating things in the in the relationship I’m going to keep doing it intive yes and then if you allow me to do it enough where even if you know I’m doing it but you don’t check it or say anything or address it if you allow allow me to do it enough where I feel like I’m smarter than you I’m getting away with some [ __ ] now you might be at the barber shop with your homeboy saying now love than she getting over but I already know giving a whole story when you you you turn me into a monster yeah there’s a respect level that’s lost for you cuz my conversations with myself and in my circles have to do with me talking about how I can get over on you I got this [ __ ] WRA around my fingers I got point right the the respect what I want men to understand is the respect level drops even if I stay with you even if you has nothing to do with me breaking up with you not giving you sex any of that the respect level drops I will do it more and more and more things will be done behind your back because what you’re doing is gassing me up that I’m smarter than you in a lot of areas because addressing right and smarter often times can be internalized as I’m better that’s what I’m getting here saying smarter in this cont better person yes I am the the head right cuz yes you put somebody in a room and they ating the people in this room I’m the smartest one in the room I run [ __ ] I run [ __ ] that’s what that’s registering ass I run [ __ ] even if they’re older they’re younger it don’t matter I’m the I’m the one that’s able to get over on everybody in in every way and nobody has even checked me or called me out on it so and and to your point once that goes on for a certain amount of time that’s just what it is y and that person becomes empowered to do that that’s what I’m saying by creating the monster the silence and y’all let slide for whatever reasons right because we know what it is it’s it’s sex you know what I mean but that’s why I said the sex don’t stop you can make more money than me like you are look at the view you could be head of household all the way that if I’m manipulating you out of certain stuff and getting over on you in a lot of ways the the and you lack the ability to hold me accountable come on and I think a lot of men are not they’re not being honest with themselves I I can’t understand it from like I get the depth of you know the reasons why the Deep issues as to why men aren’t speaking up but what I don’t get is when it gets to the point where the woman is clearly in the space that I’m describing right she popping her [ __ ] on you bro it’s no longer a humble like I got my husband to do this or I got my boyfriend using the natural femininity yeah it’s a it’s a difference in using your femininity to get what it is that you need as a woman and like to your point manipulating the whole relationship yes I’m watching females glor using shame and guilt and Rolodex and their grievances from things you might have you know fell short on in the past to to get you to do stick around tolerate put up with be beat down talked about embarrassed publicly shamed in regards to the verbiage she uses about you when you’re not around and to your face to your face I’m it’s it’s it’s on the internet off the internet in the community like all around and it’s like man that’s just that’s my baby mama that’s just how that’s wife that’s just how women no it’s not no it’s not it’s it’s not it’s not you know I always say when when a man and his woman have their first major disagreement that becomes the Catalyst for how every how the situ how the relationship is going to be you know what I mean because we know there’s going to be disagreement [ __ ] they may be outright arguments right but I say all the time we can disagree but let’s not disconnect yeah and we can say things men to women or women to men going back to your point to where once it’s said godamn come on now what what we we got to we we damn near starting over from scratch I don’t even know you no more this is but I so many men don’t speak up I I do I do I’ve done excuse me one onone calls at least two or three times a month with a man on the call he’s doing going the call because his lady said something that he can’t go back to how he felt before that but he ain’t telling her that but he ain’t telling her he’s trying to get you know some advice on how to approach the conversation CU he want to bring it up but it’s like bro you know your your view changed you should have said something in the moment that even if you didn’t continue the the conversation or try to sort it out but something needed to be articulated to that woman in that moment that hey that’s crossing a line yeah yeah maybe I can’t even articulate what line right now baby but you just crossed the [ __ ] line you you crossed the line and and let me tell you a lot of guys especially when they reach a certain age they be so focused on peace yeah that they will be willing to compromise right under the guys of Peace but inadvertently creating more chaos in the relationship that’s what eventually happens down the line for the temporary being able to get a good night’s sleep and not addressing that [ __ ] that may keep you up to two in the not addressing it going CA your ass to die years early you see what I’m saying and so lose a night night sleep to gain a lifetime of Peace you see what I’m saying down the line so but often times we don’t want to bite that bullet and we don’t want to confront her but I’m I’mma give you this though up because I I I really like where you’re going with this the society itself is beating us down as as black men but I’m I’m saying saying in the context of why I’m bringing this up is because I’m saying stand up for yourself right I didn’t say flip out I didn’t say act but I’m saying as a woman you have to let me know where your boundaries are in regards to respect what how much you can take and I feel like it shouldn’t be a play of like I’m going to take as much as I can until I break because that’s when you respond or react in a very immature way it has to start from jump bro you cannot let me come out my mouth sideways the wall not say nothing because as you do this you talking about peace and I’m hyping up off this like yeah I C that [ __ ] let [ __ ] let him try me this weet [ __ ] yeah if he don’t pay for this like you you y’all don’t realize like to the point where we on podcast like yeah cuz [ __ ] my mouth I cut like we we are glorifying the idea of cussing y the [ __ ] out that’s in love I’m a te I’m like they don’t understand that they y’all the part of the problem bro I can’t can’t see God come on fellas come on fellas we got to we got to huddle up I feel like yall know this we we do because again this be the conversation in the barber shop because I say all say like if I was a FL we be we be members of the same club that ain’t nobody talking about you know what I’m saying whether they single or whether in definitely if they married like marryed men be in the same damn club that ain’t nobody signed up and ain’t nobodying about we the same damn St you know what I’m saying it always Tak that one guy to bring something and then you start seeing everybody around the barers shop looking like yes cuz all y’all going they they chomping they’ve been waiting on this you know what I’m saying but somebody had to break the ice you see what I’m saying introd and then that [ __ ] they they didn’t got their haircut four hours ago they still still sitting in here like paid and all you know mean his girl calling him where the hell you at we got I got dent on the store with I’m I’m in here with the fellas we have you know what I’m saying but that’s that’s how these conversations go and and to your point we as men we have to have that level of confidence in ourselves first and foremost to be able to have those clear boundaries and if they’re cross like you said check it immed and I’m again I’m G stress I’m not saying go up I because you you can as as a man that understands what he doesn’t want to tolerate you can articulate this in a whisper hey babe listen you don’t ever ever say that like you need that not just for her to understand your boundaries but for you to have some confidence in yourself and I feel like that’s why a lot of men are getting manipulated like a mug in relationships it’s not what I’m talking about is not about breaking up it’s not about leaving your home it’s about establishing yourself as a man and women we love that regardless of what these little girls telling y’all grown women love when they man lay down the La in regards to how he want to be treated how he may want things ran how he want stuff structured in your treatment of him I feel like this is so important you know I call that establishing a healthy relationship Rhythm because as men you know we’re naturally creatures a habit yeah right and so there’s there’s a rhythm that we as men enjoy being in and really need to be in with the woman in our life right if don’t nobody else in the world understands me she got to understand me and and and even if she may not agree with the Rhythm initially I’m going to be willing I I have to explain to her why this rhythm is important for me so that I can continue to be healthy so that I can continue to be productive you see what I’m saying relate to our children in a healthy way and have a healthy dispositional Outlook about myself I have to stay in this particular Rhythm and so your your responsibility to me is to Aid in that you see what I’m saying not take away cuz if you start [ __ ] with that now we got a problem because because the potential is for me to no longer be myself yes that’s what and I call it hell at home yeah hell at home you chasing peace but you’re creating a hell space at home and for me exactly what you said earlier as a black man when you look around you’re the most killed yeah you’re the most killed by your own right like black men killing black men you’re the most suppressed in regards to systemic stuff mhm when we look at our culture and family you’re the one getting the boot yeah from structure of being involved and needed we’re out um advocating for single mothers and you know [ __ ] these [ __ ] and we can do it by ourselves and it’s like as a man if you’re not aware of that yeah enough to articulate Hey listen certain [ __ ] I can’t take from you like you say this is going on in the world in the societ we ain’t got nothing if I’m have to take the same kind of [ __ ] from you I ain’t looking for you to be no yes man or babysit me or none of that stuff this is just a clear establishment let’s have some understanding yes cuz I ain’t I ain’t crying about it I understand what it’s about but like you said if the society itself has already placed me in a [ __ ] ain’t [ __ ] box I I can’t come home and be viewed or treated like [ __ ] when I know that I’m doing what it is that I’m supposed to be doing but even if I fell short I I’m never going to get back up come in all angles n never if it’s I got to have something over here bro it’s to Safe Haven I always give the example like when I’m on my lives I explain you ever see an action movie and that the the hero in the movie that’s fighting the villains and things like that it might be a scene where he getting [ __ ] up he done caught a bullet cross his arm he doesn’t got cut on his leg something you will see where he will you know drag itself into some sort of room bathroom abandoned building and start bandaging it has to be a safe space in battle where I get myself backou yeah it’s a moment where you regroup and then you know in the movie This [ __ ] going to come back strong right they might he might go off and call that doctor that patch up his bullet now he whoop some ass for the rest of the movie it has to be that yeah yeah if if he doesn’t have a respit right like you said a safe space to go back to and gather himself it’s not even in human nature to be at War and on high alert all day every day like that’s that’s impossible even in actual Warfare they have to take soldiers off the front line and send them to the back to the rear so that they can have some RNR you see they be back there playing cards dominoes all kind in a whole war going because they can’t you can only be on the front line for a certain amount of time before your m going to break and they call that the fog of War you know what I mean where you start you might start shooting your own you know everything you in fight or flight and that constant flow of adrenaline that fear all of those things will eventually like you said lead to a psychic break you know a mental breakdown and so to to to your point we have to have those safe spaces as men but talk about those safe spaces as women though CU I know I know women e them too and I love that you said that about in constant chaos so for us as women when when when you look at what you asked me about manipulation right we are in this space where we’re so caught up in vanity and the surface level and I’m going to tell you what I mean by surface level it’s the looks it’s the get in the body done it’s the putting on makeup the wigs and it’s having this dude baby this is the stuff that’s sitting out on the tabletop the solid stuff that holds the table up for you to be that woman that is of value to a man and value to yourself is so much more than that so much more so for us when at the Forefront of your mind it’s look good which is going to get the dudes giving you all the compliments all the attention brush you bad all of that you’re going to get caught up in that and then that will be your manipulation tactic to keep the relationship going it will be about the giving away of your body the keeping up with your looks and the if I start to see things go a certain direction I’m I’m I’m pregnant yeah [ __ ] I’m pregnant hold let’s take a break we’ll be right back what’s good family real quick if you or anyone you know is dealing with high blood pressure high cholesterol or diabetic blood sugar the solution is here and it’s olive leaf extract olive leaf extract will naturally lower high blood pressure as well as high cholesterol and heal balance diabetic blood sugar for more information go to shopmy Olive leaf.com or call 67855416338 so I I know you know this right you you know some people and know some stories where as soon as the woman could tell the dude was on the outs I’m pregnant he already had this she pregnant or not it’s it’s manipulation I know this right here is going to keep his ass here yep or at least get me the pity right or that view that he did something to me and I am in the right so I didn’t lose that man I didn’t lose a good man look how he left these kids over here exct he ain’t no good man so i a l that’s our number one way of validating ourselves now and it’s so [ __ ] up it to the point where we’re manipulating ourselves out of actually being that boss woman that real female that in your femininity and knowing what makes you valuable so we around here like in order for me to feel like I didn’t lose anything good or I’m not got got to attack the manhood yes got to got to attack his value you know what I cuz you know that’s what the society has done anyway so let me finish him off you see what I’m saying in ways that only I can because I’m I have that level of relationship with him you see let me let me look to destroy him so that he is of no value to anybody else after me but also if I paint that picture or if I give you guys the perception that he’s of no value right you won’t feel like there’s anything wrong with me this is many of us as Baby M have so much negative stuff to say about the baby daddy because the family didn’t work out in regards to us staying together I don’t need y’all thinking I couldn’t keep a man so let me tell you about this man how about he a do this and the babies don’t got this and he ain’t show up over here for this and so when you talk about us and protecting ourselves from the manipulation you will attract all kind of [ __ ] up ass dudes when this is your mentality yeah that’s why you see us repeat the cycle of another baby daddy same [ __ ] another baby daddy same [ __ ] because we’re leading with just this tabletop [ __ ] of vanity sex and then I’m going throw a baby on top of there that is what yes that’s what I’m basing my my Foundation off of as I’m approaching relationships and it opens the door for us to be manipulated let me let me ask you this because you got you got me thinking now the the the manipulation that comes as a result of actually being born into poverty right and the need and the innate need for us to escape that which causes us pain yep go ahead yep what you you listen you said it so perfect it it is real it is something that when you break generational curses or you confront your traumas you have to look at there is a certain set of things in um psychology and you know social work they call them Aces right okay so the idea is these are things that when a child is born into scenarios with two to four of these they’re going to go through a lot of mental hardships poverty is one of them a single parent household is another witnessing domestic violence is another drug abuse or use of excessive use of substances rather alcohol or narcotics these are things that it is a given that you’re going to go through some trauma that’s going to show up in a big way in your adult life and what you attract when you’re born into these type of things poverty poverty sing Single Mothers single-headed household single headed household because you’re less likely to have resources the balance the opportunities there are so many statistics you’re limited in terms 100% being exposed to domestic violence okay um there’s also um and the drugs or alcohol the drugs and the alcohol and there’s a few more but the idea is when I when I like on my platform when I talk about these immediately I can’t get past those four [ __ ] you when you name those four I’m like what else is there when I but right here’s the thing so there’s more but the reason why I can’t get past those four cuz soon as you say those for everybody triggered everybody on the live everybody in the zo if was in a room tou everybody immediately what you mean just cuz we was supp my mama did a good job it don’t matter just so you saying just cuz I seen domestic violence I’m [ __ ] up like they don’t make it pass just accepting the fact that bro these are not good scenarios these are not things that we should be exposed to but a lot of us are but love just given if there’s you say that there’s more than those four but [ __ ] those four is is touching 99% of us [ __ ] some of us all four yep but do you see how you’re interested in discussing it even though you know it’s touching all of us so we all we all affected right most people when they hear it and it’s all of us they don’t want to talk about it cuz it’s like everybody going through that I we don’t that ain’t nothing new that ain’t that ain’t nothing special it’s like you been going that’s why I say I can’t get past the phone they don’t want to discuss it once they realize they fall into that category and that now the conversation goes in the direction of your parents weren’t that bright about how they were raising you in certain areas in certain areas and I’m not saying they were supposed to be perfect but at some point you have to confront those things that you experienc get some therapy at times reestablish yourself so that you can decide who you are and then find your tribe because like you said earlier oftentimes your tribe is not those people that you were raised around or born from [ __ ] that’s where the most most of your Trauma from four things came from fck around yeah that’s that’s what you rooted to often times more than anything yep right and so n with those four things adverse childhood experiences I can all I can see the type of woman that would be produced yep by by those four things illustated atast the four now if there’s eight of them [ __ ] I can I can only imagine but I I can just about sense because I’ve seen far too many of those types of women when when there’s pressure on the relationship or disagreement or what have you that becomes the fallback that becomes the the the the the muscle memory for lack of a better way to say it those things are familiar to our there are certain beliefs that we have about men and women and relationships and family that got rooted from those experiences and so when we grown and we react and we operate a certain way you looking at me like damn she’s a [ __ ] up individual but really I have trauma that I didn’t see about that I didn’t even really know that I had I’m not thinking that I’m as bad as what you’re saying because I’ve never actually confronted this stuff this is why you see a lot of dudes nowadays they look up and the female was just locked in with has turned on them she’s turned the kids against them she has taken what could have been resolved in our community without getting them involved with courts and all of that and turned it into some huge situation yeah and it once you do that especially like starting with that first baby daddy or that first situation it then plays a big role in what you attract as a woman moving forward so a lot of women don’t realize the [ __ ] up individual dudes that you getting after that stuff with your baby daddy has to do with what’s still on you that’s why you getting them type of dudes has a type Predator prays on a certain type so as much as I can sit here and articulate what’s wrong with you after the relationship end I have to then say if you had all them severe things wrong with you there’s something in me that attracts that type of stuff a narcissist is not going around a manipulator is not going around looking for the most intellectual well put together sted individual to try to manipulate we don’t look for the hard job it’s like a predator they seek the weaker or or or that which they can devour for lack of a better way to you I always say to keep it simple think about the streets yeah I’m not trying to rob the the most security situation the one they drunk they be on pills they go to the club hey bro they they leave the one dude at the Trap by itself we going to hit them we looking for the weak ones for you have to really look at yourself and say listen if he came in and did all that I need to go check on me yeah because bringing in that type of dude and there was something that made him feel comfortable enough to feel like he can come in here and do this kind of stuff I I always say we as men especially you know coming out of relationships we have to take the time number one to heal y right but also on a practical level re-evaluate what I refer to as our operating system yeah right where we now got a got a retune reset readjust you know what I’m saying some things so that we don’t fall into the same type of behavior again you see what I’m saying because to your point and and and to me a lot of the conversations around relationships is coming from people who are already in a dysfunctional Behavior pattern themselves yep you see what I’m saying and they’re just kind of freestyling their way through conversations under the guise of therapy right like let me let me create a podcast and then that way I get to talk about all of the [ __ ] that happened to me that don’t nobody really know happened to me and this is a way that I can get back at my baby mama at my baby daddy at her family at his you see what I’m saying I’m a weaponize my platform now cuz I got a voice you see what I’m saying when I didn’t have no voice in my house now I got a voice so you [ __ ] going to deal with me now you see what I’m saying and what you put out it 100% determines what you attract you get so when you talk and you own all that [ __ ] you’re going to attract that type of stuff even for your podcast people that are on defending or arguing for or grossly against that are the ones that’s going to flop to your page your environment want to connect and do business with you you know I call that the Lord of the Flies right where and you can ride out lord of the FES you can ride out on that type of of content forever because there’s enough Brokenness to go around you know what I mean to to it becomes unending but if if your platform and and we’ll get back to the manipulation but I got to touch on this because I know you going to go in when your platform is is all about going in on folks yeah and you’re not actually in a position to actually teach yep come on you see what I’m saying you got to question what you doing what you doing what’s your motives what’s your motives what is your intent you see what I’m saying if you have a conversation today and even if the the the the comments piss you off that don’t necessarily mean make that the next podcast episode cuz that’s really what they go off of you see what I’m saying because if you do you’re creating that momentum to where now you’re responding to everything yep and I’m telling you as cuz for me I know that our people just need the tools we just need the appropriate tools so if you have a platform where you’re drawing people in that are broken you should 100% start giving out or do yourself a favor for your platform and you doing good in this world to go research and look into where could you direct these people to to get help even if you ain’t got the skills like people like me have to give it to them directly send them somewhere connect with a relationship counselor put they information in the uh the bio or something and Route these people to that instead of sitting up here just going on and on about this [ __ ] to where it’s now it’s like we’re glorifying these conversations to just beat one another down with no solutions to any of it I and I got to look at the camera on this one now now y’all may be able to understand why ain’t nobody else been on here but love dorsy okay because I’m not real interested really interested in having a bunch of different guests with a bunch of different conversations contradicting each other you see what I’m saying because if somebody comes from one perspective and and somebody else comes from the exact opposite perspective somebody wrong yep and so me as a podcast host I have to be able to check the person who’s wrong and they will nine times out of 10 get in their feelings y because they’re being checked or corrected or what have you or counter perspective and then that becomes the conversation so if you notice with relax and take notes we take the time to go in deep on conversation you see you see what I’m saying that way the message is not convoluted I you know the intent the purpose is not misunderstood this is not just sitting here talking [ __ ] about one gender or the next with no real um goal to solve in the community and it’s so necessary we I feel like every every podcast or platform that’s just doing that you’re just as much a part of the problem regardless of which stand you’re taking on the podcast and I love when you say someone has to be wrong because when you look at like people that have these complete opposite perspectives you never see the conversation go in the direction of what is the resolve like you got your perspective and I know you feel you right I got mine I know I feel I’m right what is the resolve to keep family together exactly what is the resolve to separate the two toxic adults but make sure the children are still supporting because that has to be the goal this is what and they never touch on that because that ain’t they goal that ain’t their goal the goal is to just be right the right and to have the circular conversation that never soles you see I’m say that’s what I would ask the audience to P attention to the types of conversations the depth of the conversations whether or not the conversation is Solutions based and even when the host disagrees with what the guest says do they allow the guest to just get away with saying it because they got a big yeah because they got a big following and they don’t want to fall out with the guest cuz they want guess back on at some point you see what I’m saying so it becomes a a highway of confusion and chaos and people need real answers all of these conversations are a reflection of the fact that the black family has been damn near destroyed right and so many of the things that we should have naturally gotten from mother and father aunts and uncles grandparents are not there Y and now you get a specialist like love dorsy that’s here to address the real issues because if you if you really experienced a healthy family you would already know these things and much of this stuff you would have already avoided yep you see but it’s just a reflection of the breakdown in our fam but somebody got to do this work yeah I love what you said because for me the root of my drive and where it comes from is wanting to see the condition of our families change dramatically not a little bit not just oh you and your baby mama be cordial no like change the way that we think is necessary for us to be healthy beings and a healthy group of people a healthy Community a healthy culture every bit of what you read in the the definition of culture needs to be addressed what we respect and look at as art and discuss to music to attire to you know what is appropriate for what I remember like um when you talk to you know older women that are well put together in their demeanor and they understand femininity they talk about like back in the day Cilan and things like that where the young girls go they get structure on how to you know yes etiquette and structure on how to operate at a formal dinner how to sit with the with their legs crossed yes but also even even it it puts into context what a gentleman looks like right I talked to so many women and I hate it for them that they’ve never been shown or even verbally shown just paint me a picture verbally of what a gentleman looks like yeah what what the value is in having a man that opens doors pulls out chairs you know just handles certain things nothing to do with you paying for a whole bunch of [ __ ] or buying a buring or any of those things but just simply having care for the fact that I am the feminine figure yeah you’re a lady MH but because young girls aren’t getting that they don’t know that that is even a thing and then a lot of them the first time they see it is a podcast arguing about it right a man with a mic and a woman with a mic and he’s saying we a got to open no doors [ __ ] I paid all the bills and she saying you could at least open it’s and and it’s like to that young young woman or that it’s like well I don’t know what to think and as that young man he don’t know what to do he don’t know she trying to control me cuz she I paid for the dinner and now she talking about I ain’t pull out it’s it’s so all over the place but he should have gotten that as a young boy from his father yep from his big brother from his uncle y you see what I’m saying somebody in the house should have been grooming him on how to properly treat a woman so that these things are just was done Hein looked at and he ain’t even looked at as a s for opening because some of these simp conversations I be like that’s simping but even we are buying into it that’s when you ask me about women being manipulated a lot of the [ __ ] that’s going on in our culture has us believing he a s and he’s doing gentlemen things he’s doing what a man if you had a real father involved in your upbringing as a young woman would know that that’s actually a catch see even though he rich and rid around yes he’s displaying value yeah let’s let’s talk about this aspect of trauma bonding right because we we know or maybe maybe the audience doesn’t know I’m not going to assume what what is trauma bonding so when you ask me right in the context of you know what I talk about on my platform this is when individuals get together and with the intent to relate to one another or build a bond of friendship a in the moment relationship where we feel more alike they trade trauma stories they trade victim stories they trade um historical events or even current events that deal with negativity trauma drama hurt um stuff that has occurred that they don’t have a solution for or they were wronged right some sort of Injustice and so it is so easy to make friends this way it is so easy to find yourself in a bed with somebody this way we meet and I don’t care if it’s sitting at the bar talking or a restaurant or just out and about it could be that oh you just got in a car accident yeah I got in one last week and you know the insurance company ain’t paid me yet and you like well yeah they they paid me but they ain’t give me that much and then we just get deep into how we got [ __ ] over by the insurance company from the car accident and the person that hit you ain’t have no insurance and the lady that hit me had insurance but it wasn’t that much and so now we’ve developed like a damn give me a number a bond a bond like each other off trauma and often times what is going on in our community is this is how a lot of friendships and relationships were started you don’t know nothing about this person character their intent in regards to how they maneuver with life values and none of feels so good to [ __ ] with you cuz we got the same Ines right so now later on I’m going through all kind of [ __ ] and your real self is shown right and now I feel betrayed and I got this whole you can’t trust [ __ ] of loyalty and it’s because never did I actually bond with you on some real principles it was all off the relation of you know familiarity to a particular trauma or event you know and this let me tell me if this is a reach gangs could that be a form of trauma bonding because I look at some of the some of the ingredients DD neither [ __ ] you see what I’m saying I’m from I’m from 18 where you from hell yeah bro [ __ ] I NE I a have [ __ ] we so now we’re we’re bonded we Bros cuz we started from the bottom and we are both and now we here on the Block yep yep it’s a trauma B and then form of manipulation the same as what I’m saying that goes on in just regular civilian relationships you see them two dudes catch a case together you think this your brother why cuz both of y’all was po growing up his mama was on crack and yours was too and he caught a charge at 17 and you went to prison and did you know 18 months before like he did this this your brother simar came up together the trauma told y’all that we locked in we locked in they lock y’all up and he faced with 25 now he telling on you and you giving yourself this false perception that you were done wrong you you going to be you don’t know bro like that but now you telling yourself damn bro bro disloyal and that [ __ ] told on me dog bro you don’t know this man besides the fact that y’all both came from some [ __ ] right some broken home seeking to build relationship yeah nothing substantive nothing that that to your point evaluates a person character it’s just we we think just cuz I’m on the Block and and he on the block that’s enough yep women we become friends off of girl [ __ ] my baby daddy [ __ ] [ __ ] my baby daddy too girl I can’t stand that yeah cuz my baby needed this F and then it turns into a whole we on the phone for this my S Sis Sis what’s up sis now when sis [ __ ] your man or sis steal out your purse or sis talk about you behind your back in another trauma body relationship you are gravely hurt you betrayed that girl one your [ __ ] sister the whole y’all both just had babies from what y’all perceive to be bum ass [ __ ] yeah and y’all connected on that the trauma a good majority of the relationships friendships that you see now in our culture came off of that this is why I’m always pushing my people to get out of the victim mentality because when your mind male or female is on your traumas you being a victim the stuff that was done to you that were injustices you go around and this is your front running conversation you don’t sit down at dinner and talk about politics or you know the the next local event and thing you talk about your trauma which prompts the other people to share theirs and y’all trauma Bond yeah and when we trade War Stories it does make you feel like we’re connected yeah it it’s a comrade yeah yeah because it’s so familiar come on and from there it it gives you that false sense of loyalty and and we let ourselves down while saying that someone else did it to us then when you look around you got people that are you know in the falling out of these fake trauma bonded relationships and they all now have trust issues so then when they do come across a healthy individual already suspecting the man cheating or the girl lying or this going on or I ain’t a good friend cuz all your other friendships was based on some [ __ ] so because I won’t tell you my business and I’ve been through it where because I don’t have any War Story to share with you about my relationships or my personal problems I’m up at you or I’m acing funny yeah you you you think you better than everybody yes but that’s not how you build a friendship no and that ain’t even how you live life we know we’ve had some negative experiences but we ain’t got to wear that [ __ ] like a bad right and you don’t lead with it when meeting people right absolutely otherwise what you attract is going to match what you’re putting out there yeah you know one of the things that that I can’t stand in in my in my personal interactions with people is that passive aggressive [ __ ] that is the most if you want to me if you want to make me upset do that that that passive aggressive is the worst describe describe that right there cuz I know for a lot of people that it make you want tell me what of the situations you experienced where a person is kind of saying something like they dissing you but being TR trying to be cool about it but they throwing a jab but not really taking accountability that you know I mean they’ll call it like friend andit like where a person you know y’all might be in the same space y’all got some mutual acquaintances or friends but you know the person don’t really [ __ ] with you like that you see what I’m saying but they’ll come around you acting like everything is all good you see what I’m saying and even give you compliments only to go back and say some [ __ ] you see but never confront you on what it is that they really want to say it’s rooted in self-esteem issues from what their inner child did not get that’s where that type of behavior comes from when you meet an individual that like you said it’s the nice nasty the passive aggressive I come off like I’m down with y’all but you know there’s another side that sometimes it comes out blatantly but sometimes you find out after you left the room things that I’ve said it’s rooted in certain things with my inner child that I did not receive uh feelings of Abandonment not fitting in issues with me having that sense of value Within Myself there are certain things that affect a person’s um self-esteem such as how I am or aren’t on Pace with my samex parent so for example when boys don’t know their father and they have no idea whether I’m doing good or bad based on how my old man doing it yep it plays a role in their self-esteem and it’s the same for women when and this is why when you have women that have a unhealthy relationship with their mother it affects them even if they’re successful with business or money it affects their mental health and their self-esteem in their inner then there’s the how do I Pace with my peers this affects your self-esteem a lot of people when we start having conversations if you’re accomplished I want to know how old you are right it’s it’s a normal question and it comes from the fact that if you’re older than me it lets my inner child know I have time to catch up and accomplish that but Ife young start picking up come on you’re exposing my inadequacy yes if I don’t have a sound sense of selfworth yeah I will be pass aggressive or start to be that secret hater or develop some sort of jealousy because it’s like I got to pick out stuff that’s wrong with you or things you had it better than me to justify why you 28 and I’m 30 and you got more than me right yeah I got to tear you down to build myself up I got to create a narrative about you so that I can feel it don’t matter okay about myself I love that you understood that I create the narrative don’t matter if the [ __ ] true about you but I’m going to tell it to myself and as many people will listen because it makes me feel better about me and a lot of times when people doing that passive aggressive [ __ ] if you take it personal you don’t realize bro they narrative they created really got nothing to do with you it ain’t got nothing it’s it’s a mirror of can’t say that bro doing well and just be proud of him cuz when I say that it makes me feel bad my inner child I know that I’m not where I want to be you know but instead of me getting off my ass and handling business consistently I’m going just point the finger in and say she ain’t all that look she she she this or she had that she had that or this this she had all of these opportunities that I didn’t have he had all of these opportunities that I didn’t have you say for your parents your mama bought you this or bro you got a mama to go back home too that’s why you go hard cuz you know if you take risks and mess up you got somewhere to go and bounce back I ain’t got that my M I can’t go it it turns into this like measuring of the traumas or the what I don’t have the inadequacies and and when you when you’re not willing I say this so much to our people when you are unwilling to look at your childhood look at the things that are going on with your psyche and confront what you need to change your thinking on about how those people raised you when you’re unwilling to do that you will develop into a hater a jealous person uh sometimes you’ll just be introverted where you don’t trust and you don’t see value in connecting with anybody you won’t build or find a tribe or you will make or insert yourself in a tribe where you don’t even trust the people that you’re around you see people that they they tell you bro I don’t really with homie and trust him but when you look up he always over there always around each other all all the time you you know I I see it I see it all the time and it it makes you question like you said the motivations of people like why are you even wasting your time with a person that you don’t truly feel connected to yep you see what I’m saying why you wasting your life you know what I’m saying now think about what you said and what you asked me earlier in regards to relationships right so when we talk about manipulation if I’m in one of those relationships I can articulate you very well when I come up to the barber shop I don’t trust this [ __ ] like I don’t he be doing this his family don’t like me I got all these solid ideas and if you you know debate with me I’m going give you examples and I’m going really break down to you in grave detail how this [ __ ] really ain’t to be trusted but I won’t leave but it won’t leave now in order for me to stay in this relationship I have to manipulate got to I have to do [ __ ] to make myself feel better about existing in this environment it’s a given that I’m manipulating and receiving some forms of manipulation from him love it’s a must that’s the only way you can survive in those kind of condition because it’s a survival it’s a what I call the survival thrust it’s a it’s a must that I’ve figure out how to navigate in this environment yes that’s the only way that you’re able to go go to work come home and be in a space a personal space with that type of person you want some [ __ ] too and everything that I might have told you about this man is true he probably is not trustworthy and the scenarios I gave you I’m accurately describing them but there’s a lot wrong with me because of the fact that I am staying in that when I can articulate that the [ __ ] ain’t good you know love I remember this this well there’s a rapper who says how to survive in a room full of vultures right now what I’m understanding is how you survive in a room full of vultures is you become a vulture come on that’s the only way you can survive in a room full of vult when they watch watch this that they catching the double-edged sword right now like the the depth to what you saying because you know for me I’ve said it all kind of ways as you go on this rant describing what is Gravely wrong with people that you [ __ ] with the fact that you [ __ ] with them you’re a lot like them more than you actually think right because you don’t spend any time looking at yourself it’s a lot of [ __ ] you probably genuinely don’t notice but bro you ain’t too you ain’t too far removed from that come on everybody like to tell the story that I’m just a good person good people that know they good people they don’t just sit around and tolerate that n they do not they and they and they don’t operate successfully in those environments come on you need to say that again they don’t operate successfully in environments with vultures unless and until they become a vulture themselves yes and this is in this moment I want to give some truth or validity to when you hear women say like it’s a struggle to stay in my femininity when I’m with a man that is not leading or playing that masculine role right there is some validity to a small extent in reference to what we’re saying because if I sit up with a man that is treating me bad beating me down lying to me cheating on me using me and I’m every bit of allowing it I will not be in the best space as a woman you won’t see my uh natural femininity oozing out because I I don’t feel protected doesn’t matter if you paying the bills and showing up here every day it’s so much trauma and [ __ ] and things that’s twisting my mind plus I’m emotional by Nature the femininity will show up as toxic yeah it’ll be there but it’ll be in the form of the crying and the fussing and the you know passive aggressive at times because all around the board and then anybody outside of our relationship that seems like they’re on his side more than mine or can’t understand what I’m going through right they’re an enemy to me too now I’m nasty to people and this ain’t even who I want to be as a woman but y’all don’t get what the [ __ ] I’m going through cuz this [ __ ] taking me through this and I’ve been through he had a baby on me and all and it’s changing right it done change me yeah yeah it done took me completely out of who I was supposed to be for me yes come on into this other thing love you know we wow you know like the third conversation that that we’ve had where I just been like godamn yep but even to what you said earlier cuz the [ __ ] deep I can’t be no helpmate when en like and I don’t know if men fully understand this but when a woman wakes up and the day seems heavy like emotionally I can’t sort through these thoughts and I ain’t even saying it’s that particular man’s fault that she with I’m just saying when you take a woman that she overwhelmed overwhelmed mentally and we already emotional by Nature our intuition turns into crazy and we start intuitively got say again our natural intuition when you overload yourself with stress and your emotions are off you’re not intuitive you’re crazy you go into your intuition and it mixes with your imagination the line is blurred and you’re pointing out stuff but you’re also attracting [ __ ] you have also become the very things that you’re pointing out we’re not healthy we cannot be of any value to you as a man yeah so if you with a woman that’s in that space and you care about her you got to put a pause on trying to move forward with the relationship and see about that woman yeah push her to see by herself yeah and if you [ __ ] around and get a pregnant in the midst of that those babies are going to go through so much and we me and you talked about this before when the child’s in the womb and we all over the place their environment that they’re growing in already distur yeah it’s Disturbed yeah we don’t realize that and some women try to explain this to men or to their baby daddy but they’re already in the upset so it’s not coming out how I’m describing we have to start taking a care same as I tell women to give a damn when you see your man mentally going through it men got to step back and really like okay this woman is in a space let me stop [ __ ] her let me take a step back cuz I’m you you mix the good dick on top of that we already crazy you I’m describing what the crazy is then you you constantly dropping dick then you might be dropping dick in other girls then we we slap this is when you see I’m sure you’ve seen it and I’m not women have gone crazy killing their children like all kind of driving off the road purposely you know like Su I’m saying this in so in all we laughing but it’s the real thing yes I’m watching my sisters like and when they crash out we be like damn how did that happen yep yep and you can see it it’s it’s been I’m tell you there’s a a clear difference when y’all going through stuff and I this is what I was talking about earlier it can be hidden yeah like men because of you know historically where we come from on how y’all are supposed to be you could be in mental turmoil know right unless you acting out yes for us it’s going to show up the we going to be crook we going to be talking crazy you know even if our body’s done and [ __ ] a few days you going to peep it and I know y’all be peeping and some of y’all do I’m going look in the camera when I say this y’all be seeing this and you still Smash bro you still move forward and Smasher some of y’all you get them pregnant and then now you in the situation you in now and I’m pretty sure you’ve heard some stories in the barber shop Misery the girl was going through it when you met her yes so you might not even did it but the fact that we don’t have a care for this like come on now you got for me I did a whole live one I was like y’all got to spare them spare them like I’m trying to get through to them I’m trying to talk to them and say sis go see about yourself come on now let’s look at these traumas let’s look at more than just the vanity let’s put cars on sex and having babies let’s get a grip on what you want to be as a woman but y’all [ __ ] coming in y’all smashing left and right they took Kuma to next thing you know they love I met this dude and he I’m like oh love all over the place we back where we started y’all now y’all get why we have these in-depth conversations we appreciate the support and we going to keep it going relax and take notes DJ Jordan and love dorsy w …